Perception is all that matters

There is something we don’t talk about enough in our lives.

Where should I start? I’m kind of new to this… Should I describe my experience to you? Should I talk about the perception of things?

Lately, I’ve been finding more and more that perception is all that matters.

Do you want that promotion? Have you been working hard? Did you say something funny? Did everyone laugh? Have you told the same joke to another group of people, and it landed completely differently?

Did you come across as confident to one person? And then, in the same space, hearing the same thing, did someone else call you insecure?

How can the same situation or behavior lead to such different outcomes?

Do you perform well? Do you perform extremely well?

Can you be punished for performing well? Can you be criticized for performing extremely well? And can the same person who criticizes you use you as an example for others? Saying that they should aim to be like you?

Have you ever been criticized for your good traits? Confidence is good; confidence is great. But if you are always confident, you might make other people feel bad.

If you aren’t confident, people will not trust you.

If you speak, you don’t give space for people to speak. If you don’t speak, you aren’t engaging enough. If you speak, hear, understand, and let other people speak… someone says you should speak more. Another person says you should listen more. All in the same meeting. You shouldn’t say thank you. You shouldn’t ask for permission.

You care about what other people think? You shouldn’t care! It seems that if you don’t care about other people, you should care.

Perception is all that matters. But matters to whom?

Matters to me? To you? To your wife or husband? Friend? Mother, Father? Your puppy?

Perception doesn’t depend on you. Perception depends on how other people perceive you. And how do they perceive you? They perceive you through their own lenses. Through their fears, their frustrations. Oh, being human is one of the great pleasures in life. How can this be so paradoxical and so amazing at the same time?

Your promotion is one perception away. Your manager’s perception matters; your director’s perception matters.

But you know what? We can’t control that.

So even if all that matters is perception, we should work on what we can control. People’s fears shape their perception of you.

If you shine and they are afraid of the light, or they can’t shine as bright as you, they might blame you for shining too much.

If you stay true to yourself, at least the perception you have of yourself will be one of integrity. And perhaps, in the end, that is the only perception that truly matters.